Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sext me about skeletons
I party with great urgency now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
