best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
