i barfeds in our rink
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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