I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
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you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
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You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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