Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
