youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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