Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
