She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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