I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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