Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Alive.
So much puke
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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