Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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