We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
