you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
