He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We just shotgunned beers for America
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize