your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
