I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
