Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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