Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
