I want to stick my p in your. b.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test