when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break