I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
