I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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