do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
