I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
