He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
