She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
