she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
