called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
