I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
