his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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