Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
