I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
