Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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