so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize