Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
