Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
