I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
