Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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