this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
