he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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