You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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