He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
