And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
50% drunk capacity currently
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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