all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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