I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
