he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
