I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
