So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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