you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
