Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
