I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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