So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
