I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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