talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think my mom watched the whole time
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
