I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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