similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.