I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?