Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.