It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.